Christmas
You Need To Read This! (Day 8 Of 12 Days Of Giveaways!!!!!!!!)
Can we please talk about those days that really make you feel like a complete and utter LOSER?
What am I saying? Of course we can talk about that because it’s my blog.
I’m sure this has happened to everyone at least once. You’re having the kind of day that just keeps dropping piano after questionably placed piano on top of your head from a twenty story building by people who obviously don’t know how to put a piano into an apartment. That has been my day. I’m just waiting for that last piano key to ding me on the head so I can grow a hilariously large bump and pass out. So I would like to tell you exactly what happened today and then maybe you will get why I am trying to cover up my torment with classic cartoon imagery.
I woke up this morning, like every other unemployed morning. I had a list of things to do, and with that I started my day. I showered, and scrubbed, and brushed, and rinsed, and off I went to do my list.
First on my list was to tend to my car. It was awfully sick and needed some care, so I opened her up and found a nightmare. I topped off the fluid which was easy enough, but changing the light was gonna be tough.
I tried and I tried but no such luck. I cut open two fingers, but still what a punk. It would not budge! It would not move! So I gave up to tend to my wound.
I had no band-aid so paper would do but it wouldn’t stop bleeding. What to do, what to do? Tape would help, and it did, I was glad. So in all reality it wasn’t that bad.
I started my car and it didn’t sound good. I drove it a bit, but then it said I should quit. So then I went to Autozone…
The man at the store told me what was wrong. It will be expensive, no need to prolong.
“I can’t go home for Christmas!” I yelled to the wind.
I should send something home in case I can’t make it. I will rush and I’ll rush to the mailing station (I never said this would be perfect).
When I got there the line was so long and not fun. It seemed like my bad luck was on a run. The man in front of me was coughing and sneezing, while the woman behind could not stop laughing and wheezing.
“Ugh! Why during Christmas? Why on this day?”
I finally made it! They sent off my mail. Now to go home before my car fails.
The bank! I forgot! I need to stop there. I was helped right away with no time to spare.
The lady was nice, she asked about my dog, but then told me that hers was gone.
“Yours looks like mine,” she went on.
“That’s so sad. Why would you tell me something that would make me feel bad?” My dog is back home and if my car is not fixed who knows how much and how long I’ll be missed.
I made it back to my apartment. “I need some Ellen,” I think. So I sit down next to my drink (It was water in case you were wondering).
I should check my e-mail for maybe some news, only to find that again I would lose.
“Thank you for applying,” the email read, “but unfortunately we must move ahead… without you.”
“Dang it! I really wanted that job. I can’t catch a break.”
What will I do? Maybe some Ellen to lighten the mood.
Wait my friend should know about this, I’ll send her a message. Facebook it is! What’s this on my feed? Something interesting I see.
“Which college degrees are worthless?” it asks.
Mine cannot be. But they are, they’re both on that list. Neither degree is of use to me. Don’t you see, don’t you all see? Now what do I need?!
Ellen! Of course, of course that’s it! In my life, that’s what will fit! I have her book here where I sit. This will definitely cheer me a bit!
And what did I find you ask?
Life isn’t that bad. Life is great, life is good! And I would fight this fight if I could.
Wait a minute. I can fight this fight. It’s not that hard. Just be positive and kind and the rest won’t be far. I have other solutions and plans and plans.
Just keep going and fight for what’s deserving.
You want that job? Go get it! You want to save animals in shelters? Go do it! You want to be a Victoria’s Secret model? Good luck with that one cause you’re too short and like nacho cheese too much, but I digress.
So that is my tale, I think I am done. Now I’m deciding to go have more fun.
(End of Christmas Special)
To be honest, I had no idea there was a point to this until the end.
The point is, there are people who have much less than I and frankly much worse. They’re the ones that need the help. So I had a bad day. Who cares? Move on. What’s important to do is help when we can and be nice.
The man at the store tried to put my headlight in for me. He couldn’t do it either, but the point is he tried. He offered without me even asking. He just wanted to help make my day better.
The lady behind me at the post office was trying to make people laugh because she knew we were all irritated. She was just trying to spread some cheer. And the woman at the bank reminded me how much I love my dog and wished me a merry Christmas. None of those people had to do any of that, but they did.
They apparently did what Ellen DeGeneres needed to remind me to do. Just be kind to one another. And now that I think about it, those people made my day a lot better than it could have been. Who knows what could have happened if those people were just plain rude. I hope you all take something from today’s entry and I really hope you can find the good in your day, even if it’s something small.
Here are some videos. Enjoy!
On The Road To The Ellen Show 